MusingsWithTime

I have to admit that the stay-at-home orders last year weren’t as difficult for me as they were for most. Prior to the first lock-down announcement, I had a really crazy schedule consisting of going to work full time, and dashing home to take either one or both of my children for one sporting activity or the other. They had evening sporting activities Monday through Friday and games on Saturdays with the odd competitions on Sundays too.

So, by the time the lockdown came about, I was secretly glad for the much needed break! I still had to go into work of course, but at least I had my evenings and weekends now to recover.

I used the opportunity to discover creative ways of rest and relaxation through walking and jogging around my neighbourhood instead of going to the gym. I planted lots of vegetables, tried my hand at watercolour painting and discovered the big world of podcasts out there. I read a lot of books also and then started this blog thing. I finally had the time to do all those things I always said I’d do “if only I had the time”.

In spite of the heartaches and challenges of 2020, I really found it gave me the opportunity (without the fear of missing out or the commitment of ferrying children for various activities) for rest and renewal. Even church was virtual! Who knew that was even a thing. Driving into work was without the usual traffic and with the added bonus of free on-site parking.

In the midst of all the pain and sadness, I found peace, serenity and rest. Life was being lived at a leisurely pace and I felt no compulsion or pressure to do “things”, plan activities or be anywhere but home or at work.

Fast forward to 2021 and I haven’t felt quite the same energy or motivation like I did last year. I can’t understand why I have no desire to wake up and start my morning routine at 5am. I’m not so quick to go for a walk/jog, garden or paint. I don’t even want to log onto this blogging website of mine which I had been so proud of last year. Every one of these activities just feel like a drag.

I don’t have the words to describe it but I heard someone on a podcast recently refer to this feeling as “languishing”. I won’t go that far, I simply describe it as feeling just “blah” or “meh”.

Life is slowing returning to a semblance of normalcy although not quite like it was before. My schedule is getting busier again as the sporting activities are slowly opening back up. The traffic on the roads is also building up. I wonder if I am subconsciously dreading the slow return to that old hectic pace of life. That non-stop flurry of activities and commitments and that is being reflected in the way I am feeling. Who knows?

Whatever the case may be, life will inevitably get busier again, that is a fact but I can choose to approach the busyness differently this time.  It is possible to slow the pace down, to find rest and rejuvenation when I need to.  It’s okay too and the world’s not going to end if we miss one activity here and there, or get there a bit late.

After all, 2020 …………………